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The Elf Who Stole Christmas

by Sharyn Ekbergh with music by Brent LaCasce
Copyright 2000

Stumpy: This is a true story, boys and girls, about a year when there almost wasn't any Christmas. You see, Piccolo, one of Santa's elves, had finally had enough. She was tired of her job as Keeper of the List of Names. She wanted a promotion. She felt overworked, underpaid and not appreciated. So she got out her cross country skies, she put on her warmest polar fleece, filled her backpack with chocolate and skied away from the North Pole -- all the way to the Great North Woods of New Hampshire. But the worse thing is, she took The List. You know, the List. The one Santa checks twice. Worst of all, it was just before Christmas.......in The Great North Woods.

Bear: (yawning and stretching) he sings

I'll take a little break from a long winter nap
I 'll take a little walk and have a little snack
Winter is long but sleeping is good
I sleep all winter in the great North Woods!
Life is beautiful
Life is good
In wintertime in the Great North Woods

Owl: Hey Bear, what's up?
Bear: Just looking for a snack. Got any honey?
Owl Fox and Rabbit: Sorry.

It's wintertime in the great north woods
Things are quiet in the neighborhood
Winter is long peaceful and good
It's a quiet time in the great north woods
Life is beautiful
Life is good
In wintertime in the Great North Woods

We watch the stars and the northern lights
Have you ever seen them shine so bright
Fox and bears, rabbits and mice
Slide on the snow and skate on the ice
Life is beautiful
Life is good
In wintertime in the great north woods!

Bear: If only we had some honey!
Rabbit: You should have saved some from summer.
Bear: I know. (sigh) But it tastes so good I always eat it all.

Piccolo enters, takes off skis

Piccolo: Finally some trees! I'm so tired of nothing but snow, snow, snow, and wind. Whew! Am I tired! ( sits down, opens pack, takes out chocolate)
Bear : (smelling the air) What's that? Smells sweet.
Piccolo: Oh Hi Bear, it's Chocolate. Have a piece.
Bear: Yum Yum oh Yum. Where do you get this wonderful food.
Piccolo: It's North Pole Chocolate. The best in the world.
Bear: You came from the North Pole?
Piccolo: Yep.
Fox: There's nothing at the North Pole.
Piccolo: Of course there is. You've never seen North Pole City?
Owl. My father flew over the North Pole once. He said there's nothing there.
Piccolo: There's a whole city at the North Pole , it's hidden of course. It's magic. Santa's workshops, hundred of elves. I've lived there all my life. But now, I'm never going back.
Bear: Not even for chocolate?
Piccolo No.
Bear: ( sadly) oh. ( sigh)
Rabbit: Who are you anyway?
Piccolo: I am Piccolo. One of Santa's elves and The Keeper of the List. At least, I used to be.
Owl: Who's Santa?
Piccolo: Who's Santa? YouÕve never heard of Santa Claus? The elf who brings Christmas toys to every girl and boy?
Rabbit: What's Christmas?
Piccolo: IÕm stunned, absolutley stunned. Have you been living in the woods all your lives?
The animals: Yes.
Piccolo: Oh. I can tell you who Santa is. And what Christmas is. And, who I am.

You Can Call Me Piccolo (sung)

Santa is an elf, a very old elf
a long time ago he said to himself
I'm so clever with my hands and I love making toys
I'm gonna make a toy for every girl and boy
So he called for Piccolo just because he knew
that of all the elves I'd know what to do

(chorus) so he called for Piccolo just because he knew
out of all the elves, she'd know what to do

he told all the elves that he had a plan
to build a secret workshop in a secret land
he moved to the north pole, it's very far away
the workshop is there to this very day
but if he had a problem with the reindeer or the crew
you know he'd call for Piccolo cause I'd know what to do

if he had a problem with the reindeer or the crew
you know he'd call for Piccolo cause she'd know what to do

then on Christmas Eve, only once a year
With a sleigh full of gifts, pulled by tiny deer
He flies through the sky all around the world
and he brings a Christmas gift to every boy and girl
but when the sleigh was piled high with toys so bright and new
you know he'd call for Piccolo cause she knew what to do

When the sleigh was piled high with toys so bright and new
you know he'd call for Piccolo cause she knew what to do

I'm a special elf, if I say so myself
I'm there to give Santa a most important help
I read out the list, I pack all the gifts
I feed him hot chocolate and I check off the list.
whether he's in London town or over Timbucktoo
He always looks to Piccolo cause she knows what to do

whether he's in London town or over Timbucktoo
He always looks to Piccolo cause she knows what to do!

Piccolo: I am, you see, a very important elf.
Fox: We see that.
Piccolo: But they don't appreciate me.
Owl: That's not right.
Rabbit: But Christmas sounds so wonderful. You bring a present to every child?
Piccolo: Yes. Though it won't be happening this year.
Bear: Why not?
Piccolo: ( opening pack and pulling out a very large roll of paper, as big as you can get it) I have left the North Pole and I have the List.
Animals: The List?
Piccolo: The List of Children's Names. Santa won't know where to go and who wants what without it.
Owl: Why do you have it if Santa needs it?
Piccolo: I took it.
Owl: Why?
Piccolo: Because I've had it! You want to know why? Let me tell you why! I keep track of all those names, new additions, sizes, favorite colors, Christmas wishes. I work so hard and nobody ever notices! It's just Piccolo, have you got the list? And, Piccolo, are you sure this is right? I want a more important job. I deserve a better job. I want to be Director of Elf Services! Or Director of Reindeer Accomodations! Or Chief of Package Design! No, all I get to be is Keeper of the List!

Keeper of the List (Sung)

I'm the keeper of the list
Checker of the toys
Always keeping track of every girl and boy
What is bobby's favorite color?
Didn't he get that toy last year?
Is it Thirty Maple Lane or Three?
Ask somebody else, not me!
I'm a little tired of being just
The Keeper of the List.

Keeper of the list
Checker of the toys
Always keeping track of every girl and boy
I think that I should be advancing
I'm really quite competant
I can handle responsibility
Why don't they appreciate me?
I can be more than just the Keeper of the List

Keeper of the list
Checker of the toys
Always keeping track of every girl and boy
Charting out the reindeer's flight path
Checking every gift is wrapped
Shouldn't there be more for me?
I have such creativity!
Why can't I be more much more
Why can't I be more than just The Keeper of the List!

Piccolo: Hummph! So you see why I left! Serves them right if they don't have the list.
Rabbit: Gee, it seems to me like that's a really important job.
Owl: Yes, Without you how would Santa know where to go?
Piccolo: But it's so tedious. Everyone's always looking for me and asking me questions. And I don't get to be the Director of anything. All I do all year is check that list, data entry, you know, keep everything up to date. Until Christmas when it all goes haywire.
Owl: Tell us about Christmas.
Rabbit: Yeah, what's it like to have Christmas?
Bear: Are there lots of good things to eat?
Fox: It couldn't be that much fun. I'm sure no one would ever give me a present. I mean, what for?
Piccolo : Yes, they would, Fox. Actually, Christmas is wonderful. (smiles for the first time) I have to admit I love Christmas. Especially in Polar City. Everyone sings and we decorate the trees and we light them up. We make a big Christmas feast with everyone's favorite food. (Bear sighs) And we dance. Polar City is so beautiful then.

The Polar City (Sung)

Come along with me to the Polar City
It's made of ice and oh so pretty
Come along and whistle a polar tune
And dance by the light of the moon

Oh have you seen how the polar bears
Play on the ice without a care
If you haven't been then let's go soon
And dance by the light of the polar moon
We'll dance by the light of the polar moon

Come along with me to the polar city
The northern lights are oh so pretty
Come along and whistle a polar tune
And dance by the light of the moon

Oh have you seen how the reindeer fly
Free as birds inthe polar sky
If you haven't been then let's go soon
And dance by the light of the polar moon
We'll dance by the light of the polar moon

Come along with me to the polar city
Where Santa's elves are oh so busy
They whistle and hum to a polar tune
And dance by the light of the moon

Have you seen how the elves make toys
To send around the world for girls and boys
If you haven't been then let's go soon
And dance by the light of the polar moon
And dance by the light of the polar moon

Come along with me to the polar city
It's made of ice and oh so pretty
Come along and whistle a polar tune
And dance by the light of the moon
We'll dance by the light of the polar moon
We'll dance by the light of the moon

Owl: I think we should have Christmas too.
Rabbit: Yeah!
Bear: With lots to eat!
Fox: Where would we get all that?
All (to Piccolo) Can we?
Piccolo: I can show you how to have Christmas. But you gotta remember. There isn't going to be one this year.
Bear: We could pretend.
Piccolo: Sure, it'll be a pretend Christmas. First you need a Christmas tree.
Rabbit: We have this one. (indicates Stumpy)
Piccolo: Then you want to decorate it. I've got some candy wrappers here. They're shiny, a little like ornaments..
Owl: How about some feathers?
Piccolo: Sure
Rabbit: Flowers I saved from summer?
Piccolo: They would be pretty. They put everything on the tree. (of course magic happens and the tree gets very decorated or it looks funny)
Rabbit: What do you think?
Piccolo: (stands back, eyes tree. Is about to say it looks funny till she sees the animals watching her anxiously.) It's the most splendid tree ever!
Fox: Not possible.
Animals: Hooray!
Owl: What's next.
Piccolo: We should sing Christmas songs. Do you know any?
Animals. No
Rabbit: I can make one up.
Piccolo: Ok

Imaginary Christmas (Sung)

I imagine
An imaginary Christmas
Lights and songs and Christmas trees shining in the snow
I imagine Christmas
An imaginary Christmas
Even though it's something new I have never known

Can you see the lights of the Polar City?
It's made of ice and oh so pretty
Can you see the dancing by the light of the moon.
Oh Christmas time please be here soon.

We imagine
An imaginary Christmas
Of elves and sleighs and reindeer bells ringing in the snow
We imagine Christmas
Our imaginary Christmas
We dream of a Christmas time that we do not know

Can you see the lights of the Polar City?
Where Santa's elves are oh so busy
They whistle and hum to a polar tune
And dance by the light of the polar moon

We imagine
An imaginary Christmas
Lights and songs and Christmas trees shining in the snow
Oh tell a tale of Christmas
An imaginary Christmas
And we'll dream of a Christmas time that we've never known

Bear: Wouldn't it be nice if we could have a real Christmas?
Fox: I think he's making the whole thing up.
Rabbit: Oh Foxy, it sounds wonderful. Piccolo, when can we have a real Christmas? With presents from Santa Claus.
Piccolo: I don't know. They'll have to make another List.
Owl: What will happen when then they find out it's missing.
Piccolo: I don't know. They'll look for me. Santa will be anxious. The elves will be worried. Mrs. Claus will cry.
Fox: I thought it was just a story.
Piccolo: It's no story. It's true. And she will cry when she knows I'm gone and there'll be no Christmas without me.
Owl: Think of all the boys and girls who won't have a gift from Santa this year. What will they do?
Piccolo: I don't know.
Rabbit: When is Christmas?
Piccolo: It's....it's....tomorrow.
Animals: Tomorrow!
Piccolo: Today is Christmas eve.
Owl: What will you do on Christmas, Piccolo?
Piccolo: I don't know.
Bear: Is it a long way to the North Pole?
Piccolo: Long enough.
Fox: Well that's it then anyways, you couldn't make it back it time. Even if you wanted to.
Piccolo: Yes I could. If I skied really really hard.
(Animals all look at Piccolo)
Piccolo: You think I should go back.
(Animals nod heads)
Piccolo: Just so all the children will have Christmas.
(Animals nod again)
Piccolo: Even though I'm just the Keeper of the List and my promotion is long overdue.
(Animals nod)
Rabbit: Think of all the children. Think of Mrs. Claus. Think of Christmas.
Piccolo:
But what about my career advancement?
Owl: I know what I think Piccolo. Maybe you don't see it, but you have the most important job of all.

Keeper of the List (sung)

You're the keeper of the list
Checker of the toys
Always keeping track of every girl and boy
You know Bobby's favorite color
And if he got that toy last year
And all the numbers on every street
They need you, don't you see?
You're number one you are
The Keeper of the List.

Keeper of the list
Checker of the toys
Always keeping track of every girl and boy
You're already in a top spot
Christmas can't go on without you
Piccolo can't you see?
All those lonely Christmas trees?
You're number one you are
The Keeper of the List

Keeper of the list
Checker of the toys
Always keeping track of every girl and boy
Charting out the reindeer's flight path
Checking every gift is wrapped
You're necessary, don't you see?
It's a a big responsibility
Just to be the keeper
The Keeper of the List!

Piccolo: You're right! I am important, aren't I? I'm the Keeper of the List! (she sings)

Keeper of the list
Checker of the toys
Always keeping track of every girl and boy
Charting out the reindeer's flight path
Checking every gift is wrapped
Making sure that Christmas Eve goes smoothly,
That takes me!
Because I'm the keeper I am

Because you're the keeper you are (the chorus)
Because I'm the Keeper
I am The Keeper of the List!

Piccolo: You're right. I have to go back. I have a very important job to do.
All
: Yay Piccolo!
Piccolo: They can't have Christmas without me. (puts on skis) Merry Christmas! Nice meeting you!
Animals: Merry Christmas! Good luck Piccolo! Piccolo skis off.
Bear: Will she be in time for Christmas?

It's a long long way to the North North Pole (sung)

It's a long long way to the North North Pole
The snows gonna snow and the winds gonna blow
The snow snows down on one little elf
She's all alone and she's all by herself

But she's the cog in the wheel she's the spoke that joins the rim
She's the one who's gonna read the list and check it off for him!

It's a long long way to the North North Pole
And it's not very warm no it's cold cold cold
She is such a tiny elf and she's so alone
And it's a long long way to her North Pole home

But she's the cog in the wheel she's the spoke that joins the rim
She's the one who is gonna read the list and check it off for him!

Go go Piccolo, skiing through the snow
Even if the wind blows cold, even if it snows
It's a long long way to the North North Pole
But if anyone can do it it's our Piccolo!

Cause she's the cog that runs wheel the spoke that joins the rim
She's the one who reads the list and checks it off for him!

There's no one anywhere like our Piccolo
Skiing all the way to the North North Pole
Skiing through the wind and ice, skiing to the Pole
There's never been a Christmas elf like our Piccolo!

Bear: She'll make it. I know she will.
Fox: She'll be too late. Christmas won't happen. Mrs. Claus will cry.
Owl: Even if Santa doesn't come, let's have Christmas together tomorrow.
Rabbit
: Sing Christmas songs?
Bear: Have a feast?
Fox: Santa won't come anyway. We're not on the list.
Owl: Even so, we'll have Christmas. This year and every year from now on. And we'll tell every animal in the forest about Christmas and we'll all celebrate.
Bear: Can we sleep here with our Christmas tree?
Owl: Of course. Bear: (Yawn) I'm ready for sleep. That was exciting. A real elf. The North Pole. Santa Claus. Christmas.
Rabbit: It was real exciting, wasn't it, Foxy?
Foxy: It was just a story.
Rabbit: But a nice story. They lie down.
Bear: Good night everyone, Merry Christmas
All: Merry Christmas.

Stumpy: So the animals lay down to sleep beneath their Christmas tree, and Piccolo raced back to the North Pole as fast as she could. She skied and skied and got to North Pole City just as Santa was heading out to the sleigh. Alfie was holding Rudolph's head. "Piccolo! Do you have the list?" Santa asked, as he climbed in. "Of course," said Piccolo, handing it to Santa. With that, the reindeer stamped their feet, tossed their heads, and leaped into the air. In the Great North Woods the animals slept peacefully as Santa flew around the world and delivered wonderful presents to every child. Dawn came, and they woke up.

Rabbit: It's Christmas!
Fox: See, no presents.
Owl: What's that next to you, Fox.
Fox: (seeing a package) Oh! What is it? (Holds up package, reads) To Foxy, from Santa.
Rabbit: I've got one too!
Bear: ASnd me!
Owl: And me too. And something else. A letter. (opens letter) and reads. "I Put your names on the list. Thanks for everything. Merry Christmas, P."
Bear: It really is Christmas.
Owl: Yes, Bear, it is.
Fox: I guess Christmas is real after all.
Rabbit: Just like we imagined.
All: It's Christmas

Imaginary Christmas (sung)

We imagined
An imaginary Christmas
Lights and songs and Christmas trees shining in the snow
We imagined Christmas
An imaginary Christmas
We dreamed a dream of Christmas time a story we were told

We could see the lights of the Polar City.
It's made of ice and oh so pretty
We saw them dancing by the light of the moon.
Our Christmas story soon came true.

We imagined
An imaginary Christmas
Of elves and sleighs and reindeer bells ringing in the snow
We dreamed of Christmas
Our imaginary Christmas
We dreamed of a Christmas time
That we did not know

Can you see the lights of the Polar City?
It's made of ice and oh so pretty
Can you see dancing by the light of the moon?
Your Christmas story will come true.

Please imagine
An imaginary Christmas
A special kind of Christmas time just for me and you
If you tell a tale of Christmas
An imaginary Christmas
And dream a dream of Christmas time
Then it will come true

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